Thursday, July 05, 2012

Adoption Is...

...a miracle. Jeremy and I have both been thinking a lot lately about how incredible it is that Laina is here with us. Here. Home. The more we see and learn about international adoption, the more miraculous it seems that Laina is here with us. So many things could have gone differently.

...heartbreaking. It's the result of a broken world, and while the adoptive family is rejoicing, the birth mother is mourning, sick, in poverty, or worse. And while the adopted child is blessed with a family who loves her, she also lost her first family. Joy and grief.

...intense. The waiting, the crazy roller coaster, all the unknowns that come along with when will my baby be in my arms? More intense than anything I've been through and more intense than anything I hope to encounter for a long time.

...expensive. We're still fund-raising. Total, we have $10,000 in loans and $7000 (!!!!) in free-and-clear fundraising money. We applied for a matching grant and a regular grant and hope to hear some positive responses soon. We're doing a massive garage sale in late July. Our puzzle is over 1/4 of the way done, and if people sponsor the whole thing, we'd be so close to what we need. Which, as it turns out, is more than we thought we'd need: closer to $25-30k. Yikes. HOWEVER: God provided before. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and He will provide again. And it's so, so, so worth it.

...incredible. Recently, the chickens and I (yes, I call them chickens. Affectionately.) headed over to the house of a friend who had just gotten home with her three children from Uganda. My boys played with her four-year-old twins, and Laina and my friend's sweet daughter Jovia played too. Laina and Jovia are only a few months apart in age, and oh my word it was so cute seeing them play. The incredible thing, to me anyway: I met these three kids when I was in Uganda. I held that sweet girl and played with those awesome boys. I took pictures for their waiting mama. And now they live close to us and my kids and hers play. Incredible.


...hard. We have been so blessed that attachment happened for us. We had no problem attaching to our daughter, and she attached to us as well. But not all families have the walk in the park we did. Some parents struggle (it actually has a name: post adoption depression). Some kids struggle (it's got a name too: attachment disorder). I admire so much the families who work at this. Attachment parenting is a lot of work when everything goes well (we know it well--we did a lot of learning about it beforehand, and it's the reason for some of our goofy rules. More on that in another post.). But when the road is full of bumps, potholes...the work is so intense. If you know families who are struggling this way, please support them. Care for them. Pray for them.

...beautiful. It's a beautiful way to build a family. It's a beautiful way to respond to God's call to care for the orphans of the world. It led us to the beautiful girl sleeping in the room down the hall. It will (I have faith!!) lead us to a beautiful baby being placed in my waiting arms.

8 comments:

agable said...

I am so thankful that you share both the joys and the struggles. I am soaking up everything! You guys are such an awesome example to parents everywhere!

The Curious Georges said...

Beautifully written Allie.. and oh, so true! Thankful you have a heart for adoption and for the role you played in ours. Praying you raise all the money needed and that your precious daughter will be placed in your arms very soon!

Alison McLennan said...

Brilliant post, and so true. It's amazing how complex adoption really is. Seeing it described in this way...it's all true, even though so many of the words you used should contradict each other. Bravo. :)

Edress said...

Beautiful thoughts to help those of us that haven't been through adoption to try to understand.

Adrienne said...

I love it Allie. Like our AMAZING GOD, Adoption is so complex. I am trusting with you for the next wonderful child that the Lord will place into your beautiful family.

Room4More said...

Beauty from ashes, right?

La Dolce Vita: The Sweet Life said...

So, so true. The beauty, the challenges...such a gift for all us broken people. Great post.

Katie said...

I love hearing these beautiful thoughts. Adoption isn't just wonderful, it's also hard. Thanks for sharing both the good and tough!