Iains Say the Darndest Things

(the Viking-Knight-Beach bum)




Singing: Oh, Mama, oh Mama. Oh, she's a good good good good good mama.
(why, thank you :))



As I was putting him to bed the other night:

Iain: Mama, when you grow up, you can be a knight!
Me: Really? What do knights do?
Iain: (thinking) Well, they kick balls, and they squish bugs, and when they get mad they kick people.
Me: (mock horror) Oh no, Iain. Knights are good. They don't kick people. Maybe when they get mad they kick balls or pillows or something.
Iain: (in a creepy, drawn-out little voice, full of mischief) I like baaaaaad knights.
Me: No, we like good knights.
(later, during our nightly "Thank You Jesus for" ritual)
Iain: Thank You Jesus for baaaaad knights.



(Here, he's got what he calls "my big hands" on his feet. Translation? My oven mitts. And this is what he does when I tell him to freeze for the camera.)





As he sits down to eat his Curious George Fruit Thingies (and yes, that is the technical name): I am a snack-eater.




(talking to Nona on the phone. And chillin' apparently.)





The other day, I was trying to teach Cory to sign "I love you." So I'd say and sign "I...love..." and he'd fill in the blank (usually with "Mama!" - be still my heart.) But then, oh yes, he remembered the Big Brother.

Me: I...love...
Cory: Eeeen!
Iain: (sitting nearby in the red chair, reading a book, not once looking up or noticing the goings-on) thankyou.
(Just like that. Running the words together and like nothing funny was going on - I was cracking up. But maybe that was just the long-term effects of two little boys on my mental capacity. Or the fact that I am, after all, a Schweizer. And if you know us, you know what I mean. But here, once more without the commentary).

Me: I...love...
Cory: Eeen!
Iain: thankyou.
Me: I...love...
Cory: Eeen!
Iain: thankyou.

And it went on and on about six times. Hilarious.

Edited to add one more:
Jeremy: I'm going to run the water in the tub, and then I'm going to come back and throw you in.
Iain: (worried) No,gently put me in the tub.

Jeremy: (coming to get Cory) Okey Cory, I'm going to throw you in the tub.
Iain: Nooooo! Don't throw him in! He's my son!!!!