A Lesson on Pirates

Iain: I know a lot about pirates. I'll teach you about them. Pirates have either three or seven cannons.

Me: Why three or seven? Why not five or ten?

Iain: Because that would be too many. Then they wouldn't shoot them. Pirates run about shooting and fighting and cutting, and fighting about who will fight the lion and who will fight the dragon, if a dragon got on the ship.

Cory: And if a mouse got on the ship...

Iain: They would pet 'im. They would rush about if a sea leopard came, shooting and dropping the anchors and moving away from the sea leopard and trying to keep the mouse safe.

Cory: And then they had a big, big cage for the mouse that has a locking thing. So they put the mouse in there and he stayed in there with his favorite mouse and his favorite music, and he was safe.

Iain: And then the pirate said, (in a low voice) "Oh, let's go give the mouse some food because we're hungry."And that's about all pirates do. That's all I know about pirates.

Cory: I know about pirates!

Iain: A lot? Because I teached you?

Cory: No, I know a lot more.

Iain: (admiringly) Oh!

Cory: And if there was an alligator... (and on it goes)

Iain: And if pirates keep food in their mouth for the whole week they're on the ship...

Iain and Cory together: they would talk with their mouth full!

Cory: That's the meanest thing they could do.

Iain: Yup, that's the meanest thing. And when pirates go to bed, they might talk in their sleep! And they might do so-loud music in their sleep! (demonstrates by imitating a trumpet and then yelling "boom! Boom!")

Iain: We should copy this and give it to Aunt Kelsey so she'll remember what pirates do. (I think he meant that to be encouraging, but it does sound a little spooky, no?)