Sunday, January 06, 2008

Ten Things to Not Say to a Pregnant Mother...

...and my sarcastic responses.

1. Haven't you had that baby yet? (Yes, I have. Now I'm just walking around with a pillow under my shirt so I can keep answering these delightful questions.)

2. Wasn't your due date last week/month/year? (Oh, you're right. I HAVE gone past my due date. I didn't notice.)

3. Why don't you just wait ten more days so the baby can be born on my birthday. You're almost there. (Is a response to this really necessary?)

4. So when are you going to have that baby? (Let me check my calendar. Yes, tomorrow looks good for me.)

5. Have you tried X/Y/Z yet? That'll get things started. (Yes, I've tried all the tricks. They don't work.)

6. You have to have the baby before tonight/tomorrow/next week because I have a schedule conflict. (Okay, I'll get right on that.)

7. This is nothing. I/my mother/my friend was three months late. (Because THAT is encouraging.)

8. You know, the longer the baby stays in, the bigger it's going to get. (Again, so encouraging.)

9. You don't look as pregnant as that lady over there. (Because it's possible to be a little pregnant. Right. Just like it's possible for your nose to be a little broken.)

Care to add a tenth? Rest assured that I will be just as sarcastic in answering it!


Nona said...

This is just TOO FUNNY! I can relate, having been in your position four times, however now I am one of those asking the ridiculous questions. Glad you have kept your sense of humor through it all :).

annie said...

One of the remarks I got when I wasn't even overdue:

"You haven't had that baby yet? You must be a saint. My two babies were born at 36 weeks. I just can't imagine going any further."


:) You're at the top of our prayer list right now. Isabel and I pray every morning after I check my email and your blog.

Mrs said...

10. Oh my goodness, you're huge! I don't think I've ever seen anyone so huge! You're definitely having a boy/girl! I can tell by the way you're carrying. . . .


Prayers here, too! Much love!

Anonymous said...

I thought January 7th would be the best day since the beginning.... we'll see I guess! If he/she comes then I'll be two for two with your kiddos.... I think that must mean I am their favorite aunt :)


Anonymous said...

Allie! This post made me laugh out loud!

Praying for you all!!

Mrs said...

Along with Haylee and Jenna, Kelsey is my favorite Aunt. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I think what the baby did was pick out it's own birthday. And I think now he/she is just waiting to come out on the day he/she picked for itself. That is my guess...

:) :D

p.s. I think New-B picked the 10th

Julie said...

Girl, I am praying for you!
Miss ya and Love ya,

Anonymous said...

Oh just wait 20 more days Allie...:P
Then it can be born on my birthday!
Hehe...Grace ;D