I'm guest-blogging today over at Kim Van Brunt's blog {Honestly} Adoption about the long wait before we brought Laina home:
I was unprepared for the weight of it: the absolute, soul-crushing burden of what I felt as I waited for my child. I knew it would be hard; I imagined what I thought I would feel with a daughter on the other side of the world, but I had no idea just how heavy it would be...
4 comments:
This post was so moving. Because I too have lived it. I am so glad I have been blogging about it as I work through the feelings and find the new me. I too am forever changed. I know that was part of the point. But I still miss her, the carefree laugh that I have a hard time finding. Im so thankful for a loving husband and Lord.....
I love your honesty here. I have never been in your situation, but oh how I relate to your feelings on waiting to grow your family. I felt much like you felt while trying to get pregnant with our son, and now I am feeling it again as we look to the Lord to grow our family. It's difficult to fully trust him, and I don't know why he has the timing that he does. What I have learned from all of this is that he truly does have a plan for my family (and yours!) so no amount of worry on my part is going to get in the way of his beautiful plans. I can have peace in the fact that his plans are beautiful, I need only be still. Blessings to your precious family!
Anna--thanks for sharing your story. Angela--thank you. Blessings to you as well!
Loved your post--came over to your blog after I read your guest post. I've been marked by that pain as well, multiple times over in our adoption journey from 2007 - 2011 (which resulted in a Ugandan waiting child) and am being wounded/changed once more as we try to adopt our son's 2 best friends. It takes such a toll that after all these years, I know that after our next adoption we need to be done for at least awhile. It is so worth it, but it is so hard and I just can't spend my children's entire young childhood doing this. We started when our son was 2 and our daughter was 1, and now our oldest is 7. We don't know what the future holds but we at least know we'll be done "for awhile". We know His plan is GOOD, but it has been HARD HARD HARD.
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